List No More : Ten Reasons Why I Will Post No More Lists On This Blog

1. Every lame-ass blog in the imaginary electronic universe is cluttered with nonsensical lists.
2. The decontextualized data imparted by lists exemplifies the valorization of information and the parallel devaluation of knowledge that are two of the most salient intellectual consequences of our current technological revolution. (The ongoing transformation of formal education into vocational training is a much more important manifestation of this phenomenon.) 
3. Justin Bieber.
4. I asked myself, "What would Faulkner do?" (and a Snopes replied, "No more a yer goldarn lists, ya carpetbaggin' varmint!")
5. I need more time to work on my arrangement of Tristan und Isolde for single banjo.
6. If Norman Mailer were here, he'd be head-butting me right now.
7. Emily Deschanel's eyes.
8. I've spent far too much time at the downward-spiraling Huffington Post paging through all those useless "literary" lists that exist solely to amplify HuffPo's hit count and thus increase corporate ad revenue.
9. Will Shakespeare told me to stop.
10. Vita brevis.